“Many couples have different political views and still manage to stay together,” says Bennett. “. Political differences become a topic when one partner (or both) is really intense about their views. This is when he can move from a disagreement to a full and lengthy war that could cause long-term problems. “If you`re arguing about minor political differences instead, it`s probably normal to distance yourself. You love your partner, so if you keep that love in the foreground, even in the middle of a heated argument, it`s a sign that you`re fighting healthily. It`s easy to make anger the primary emotion of a fight, but to commit to being respectful of one another, regardless of the key. “The healthiest relationship goal a couple can have is the vow to fight fairly,” says Scott-Hudson. “Respect and love should be felt and evident, even if you feel angry and frustrated.” If you have trouble remembering, in the heat of a fight, what you like about your partner, take a few moments before the confrontation to list some of your favorite attributes. If you live together, there`s probably been at least one argument about whether your partner “never” unloaded the dishwasher or how they took out the garbage for the 3rd week in a row, while forgetting about it over and over again.
There may even have been the screaming game or two over the occasional empty toothpaste at 10 p.m., or the forgotten grocery store was walking to get milk for cereal disease. Whether you both have jobs outside the home or only one person has one (or more) jobs, it`s important to divide household chores to avoid resentment. An action that can add dry wood to the flame of a fight cuts off from each other. To avoid this, Chapman proposes that at the beginning of a conversation, both parties agree on a time limit by which each person can share their thoughts and feelings. Setting time limits helps you focus on listening, because you know when it`s your turn to speak, and you don`t need to pause to score a point during the other person`s seemingly eternal tirade. Before you panic and think your relationship is doomed to failure because you had two fights last week, you know this: It`s normal to have differences and disagreements with your partner, says Joseph Cilona, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist in New York City. “There`s no right formula when it comes to the frequency of conflict and there`s no right way to deal with conflicts that are fair to all couples,” he says. All couples fight.
It is quite natural and comes with the territory to be in a couple. But of course, when we argue more than usual, we ask ourselves: how many fights is too much? Are we completely? One study at a time shows that the two biggest things couples argue about are money and sex. Do we really need to (re)renovate the kitchen? Are we going to send the children to a public school or a private school for $15,000 a year? Did you really have to buy another scarf? Disagreeing with a partner can be really daunting, but every couple has their arguments….